If someone gently nudges the dust off your bumper, there is NO need to call the National Guard, the Police, your Lawyer, and every insurance company in the known world. Whatever happened to just talking it out? Why make it a national emergency? Especially if the damage to your car is only identifiable with a microscope. I so wanted to tell this bitch to take a Valium but she’d likely sue for the drug rehab bills, too.

It wasn’t me this happened to, but someone we’re close to and I’m just so NOT impressed. Especially since the crazy lady had a child in her car: “Doesn’t this beat standing on the street corner for money, Junior?”