I know I have complained enough about all the paperwork I’ve been dealing with. I’ve done my share of whining about insurance companies. I know. I know. So this isn’t a complaint post. Not at all. You won’t find one single complaint in this post. I’m going to go in an entirely new direction and show my readers how to have as much fun as I’m having.

First, if you like mountains, and I do mean mountains of insurance forms and claims and red tape, take your family, every single member, to have all their dental needs taken care of in a two month period.

If the mountain isn’t big enough, try to schedule the repeated appointments for every single family member of your family on the heels of one of the members having their tonsils out.

If that isn’t enough, if one of those members hasn’t met their deductible, and it’s the end of the year, try to burn your arm really really bad, on Christmas Eve. This is really important to note because there are no doctor’s offices open on Christmas Eve. It’s lots of fun trying to find one open though! Especially if all you wanted was some advice such as: Can you take a shower after such a nasty burn? If you do get a hold of someone they won’t answer that question and say that you ‘get to’ come to the ER where you’ll get a shot and spend over $200 for getting a bandaid “surgery”. You’ll then get to enjoy the rest of the bills you’ll receive for that one visit that total over $1400. I don’t know about you but that’s just a party right there for me. Yessiree.

If you have a medical flexible spending account be sure to lose all your receipts. Especially the itemized bills from your provider that show how much your insurance paid. Even better, burn your Explanation of Benefits. If you keep them all, you won’t get to submit more paperwork to substantiate the charges. I enjoyed sending 99 faxes, 64 letters with triplicate copies of my receipts via snail-mail, and 32 phone calls to get it taken care of. It was… fun. No really.

See? Not one complaint. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to book a trip to one of these Pigeon Forge cabins instead of paying the $1500.00 in medical/dental bills we owe because I like it when collection agencies call me.