So this is what life is like when you don’t have a full time job. I only worked full time for 3.5 years… but before that I was taking care of babies. I had a baby every 2.5 years 3 times. So I was constantly busy and knee-deep in babies, diapers, breastfeeding, etc. I went straight from that to a full time job. So I really don’t know what it’s like to not work full time doing something that involved a lot of work. Now that my youngest is six years old, it’s weird to figure out what to do with my days. There’s no diapers, no breastfeeding, not as much laundry, and they are all old enough to entertain themselves and even fend for themselves at breakfast/lunch. (And with me working full time from home, they got used to doing so.) My oldest can even do his own laundry.

I’ve been keeping busy, but it’s not the “I have accomplished something today!” busy I’m used to. It’s laundry (but I already did that before..) it’s dinner on the table every night (that was much more challenging before so I suppose that is an accomplishment — speaking of dinner, it’s amazing how much easier it is to come up with something different every night when you don’t have a full time job. I have time to *think* about it!) it’s keeping the house clean, (another challenge but not unheard of when I was working), it’s never running out of groceries (since I can go get whatever we need at any time now) and.. well, that’s about it. I have thought about taking up a hobby, or reading all the Harry Potter books (I’ve only read the first one) but …. meh.

BTW, not doing a whole lot with my days outside cleaning, laundry, cooking, and grocery shopping makes for boring blogging! Back when I was working, I could have filled this blog with entries about the daily happenings of my life, but I never felt comfortable doing so. A lot of it involved the crazy customers at work and I felt like I should not post on a personal (but public) blog about what went on at work.

This not-knowing-what-to-do is only going to get worse when the kids go back to school! Cody has been in Summer school since the 5th but that ends tomorrow. I will look forward to the extra time with the kids next week and the remainder of the summer. I have a few things planned that should be fun for us. But until then (which is technically only one more day) I’m chewing on nails trying to figure out WTH to do (besides laundry, cleaning, grocery shopping, and cooking).

There’s also the internal struggle that’s going on with me ….

…where I think I need to be looking for another job now. RIGHT NOW. This very instant. If I did find a job right now, I’d be disappointed that I couldn’t spend the rest of the summer with my kids. On the other hand, I feel like if I don’t look now, all the good ones will go away! (haha). I’ve thought about applying now and putting my available date sometime after school starts but that could get awkward if I’m asked why I’m not available. Those with kids would understand the desire to spend time with them while they can, but those without would likely view that as me being a slacker. (I’ve had bosses like that!) And I don’t want to lie, so… what do you do??