I did call my doctor yesterday, like I promised I would do. It turns out the results of my HbA1c were good. 6.1 so my diabetes was controlled. But my cholesterol was high… high enough that they sent a letter of explanation and a prescription for lovastatin, asked me to take that for two months then come in for a follow up. I obviously never got the letter, nor the prescription. We went over what address it was sent to and it was correct so I have no idea why I did not receive it. I asked when it was sent and they said… April.

APRIL. I was thinking it was just a “little while ago” that I had my last doctor appointment and labs done. And that it’d only been a few weeks that I was missing the results of that appointment. But it was freakin’ APRIL that they sent me the results! I looked back on my calendar and my actual doctor’s appointment was March 29th. That’s just over 5 months ago. How the hell did I let that much time fly by and not know the results? Why the hell do I have such a hard time staying on top of my health issues? I knew I should have been calling when I didn’t receive the results.. I even mentioned it here, right? But did I do it? NO. I waited until I couldn’t sleep all night to finally kick my own butt and call.

I was pretty bummed out the rest of the night after that. At first I was obsessing on where the letter and prescription went since I didn’t receive it. I was all stressing wondering if my mailman was on crack or if it got stolen and I started to get mad. I should have received that! Jack told me to stop obsessing on it because what’s done is done, I simply did not receive it. Well my anger at not receiving it was BS. I should have followed through. This is my HEALTH I’m neglecting here. And I’m not proud of it in the least. I’m a prime candidate for heart issues; I’m overweight, I’m diabetic, and now I have high cholesterol. I’m not even 40 years old yet. I keep this up? I’d be lucky to see my youngest graduate from high school. That’s not just me being over-dramatic about it… that’s a very likely scenario if I don’t get on top of this. I actually thought last night that I should take out one of those life insurance no medical exam needed policies so at least my family are covered if that scenario did play out. But that’s NOT ME!

Ya know, I’ve always been a take-charge person. I have a problem? I deal with it. I don’t run away from it. I’ve also been the kind of person that can’t stand people who whine about their problems but never seem to do anything to fix the issues. Well slap a big old “H” on my forehead (for hypocrite). This was a harsh reality check for me. A big fat wakeup call. I have absolutely no excuse why I did not follow through when I didn’t get the results. None. Just me fluffing it off as though it were no big deal. And that’s just wrong and totally irresponsible.

Sitting here beating myself up over my negligence isn’t going to do any good though. I’ve accepted at this point that I HAVE a problem. I know how to work through it. Now I just have to do it. And I will. I will.